The #1 Feedback Mistake Leaders Make—And How to Fix It
Let’s be honest—giving feedback can feel awkward, uncomfortable, and downright difficult.
Maybe you’re worried about hurting someone’s feelings. Maybe you’ve tried giving feedback before, only to have it dismissed or taken the wrong way. Or maybe you’re on the other end of the spectrum—you don’t hesitate to be direct, but sometimes your feedback lands with more resistance than results.
Most feedback fails because it’s unclear, unstructured, and emotionally charged. And that brings us to the #1 feedback mistake leaders make: They focus on opinions, not observations.
Too often, feedback sounds like this:
“I just don’t think you’re stepping up as much as you should.”
“You need to be more proactive.”
“Your communication could use some work.”
Vague. Subjective. Unhelpful.
When feedback is based on opinions and assumptions, it leaves too much room for misinterpretation. The recipient is left guessing: What exactly am I doing wrong? What does "proactive" even mean in this context?
That’s why clear, growth-oriented feedback is always rooted in specific observations and outcomes—not just how you feel about someone’s performance.
How to Give Feedback That Actually Lands
The best leaders don’t just deliver feedback—they design it intentionally. And that starts with using a structured approach.
That’s why I created Plan, Deliver, Grow: The Ultimate Feedback Journal—to help leaders move away from vague, ineffective feedback and into conversations that drive real change.
The journal is built around the Context, Action, and Outcome (CAO) Framework, a simple yet powerful way to structure your feedback:
Context – Set the Scene
What happened? Where and when did this take place?
Instead of: “You need to speak up more in meetings.
” Say: “In yesterday’s team meeting, I noticed that when the group was discussing strategy, you didn’t share your thoughts.”
Action – Be Specific About Behavior
What action did the person take (or not take)?
Instead of: “You weren’t proactive.”
Say: “When we assigned tasks, I noticed you waited for someone else to take the lead instead of offering to own a piece of the project.”
Outcome – Tie It to Impact
What was the result of this action (or inaction)? Why does it matter?
Instead of: “Your emails aren’t clear.”
Say: “The email you sent to the team didn’t specify who was responsible for next steps, which led to confusion and delayed the project.”
This framework transforms abstract feedback into actionable guidance. It removes the guesswork, emotional tension, and frustration that often come with poorly delivered feedback.
Feedback Is a Skill—Not Just a Conversation
Most people think feedback is something you give in the moment. But great leaders plan their feedback, deliver it with intention, and grow their ability to communicate effectively over time.
That’s why Plan, Deliver, Grow is more than just a journal—it’s a practical tool to help you refine your feedback skills, track your progress, and become a leader who fosters trust and accountability.
With this journal, you’ll:
Structure your feedback so it’s clear, meaningful, and constructive.
Practice the CAO Framework to eliminate vagueness and miscommunication.
Reflect on past feedback experiences and improve your approach over time.
Develop confidence in giving feedback that leads to growth, not defensiveness.
The Bottom Line: Feedback Shouldn’t Be a Guessing Game
If your feedback isn’t leading to action, clarity, or improvement, it’s time to change your approach. Feedback isn’t about pointing out what’s wrong—it’s about helping people grow.
So, the next time you need to give feedback, ask yourself:
Am I making an observation—or just sharing my opinion?
Does this feedback give clear guidance on what to do next?
Is my message built on specifics, or is it open to misinterpretation?
If you’re ready to stop dreading feedback conversations and start making them effective, Plan, Deliver, Grow is here to help.
Now available on Amazon: https://a.co/d/7ktCvaK
Let’s make feedback clear, actionable, and growth-focused—every time. 🚀
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